Mary

Mary, Mary, what can I say

You make me laugh most every day

You think with your heart and not your brain

To figure you out is quite a strain

Something is cooking upon the stove

So up she flies, and there I dove

She’s on the counter, above the pan

You think I’d a beat her as fast as I ran

But oh, no, she’s smelling, now taking a bite

And I have to admit that it is quite a sight

You see she was raised in a pen full goats

So I’m sure that my roast beef smells better than oats

It's morning, Oh God, don’t let her hear my alarm

‘Cause that’s when she goes into all of her charm

She digs with her claws, once my face she did cut

And sits on my face with her big smelly butt

I can scream at her, kick her and toss her aside

But that’s when she jumps right back up for the ride

In her own special way she wants me to get up

And she doesn’t care if it gets her a wup

We’ve had our discussions, I’ve told her to quit

But that doesn’t stop her once she throws her fit

I might as well get up and just let her outside

Or she’ll jump right back up for one more smelly ride

Oh, how I hate having butt in my face

She just sits there smiling at my alarm as I race

I thank her and praise her and tell her she’s great