Tinker Tales - Sharing Tinker The Chow Chows Life
Chapter 5

Sometimes I didn’t give Tinker enough credit for how smart he was. He’s a chow so obviously bathing and brushing are a regular part of his life. Really close to our home is one of those pet super stores. In the back they have bathing stalls you can rent to wash your dog yourself. I’m positive lots of you are familiar with these. They’re actually great, everything is tile lined, they have warm water and a nice squirt gun handle / hose combo that allows you to get to all parts of your dog. The one we went to even had several selections of soaps and conditioners that you could select and they’d get mixed right in with the warm water. Once your done with the washing portion they even have a blow drier hose! Cool! Well, at least Michelle and I thought so. Tinker,……he wasn’t so enthusiastic about the whole process.

Here’s what I meant when I said I sometimes didn’t give him enough credit about how smart he was. One of the things that endeared me the most to his personality came at the beginning of bath time. When we’d walk him into the store, that dog knew exactly which isle the dog toys were on. Every bath meant he could pick out a new toy. He would lead us right to them, without any hesitation. The store had lots and lots of toys located in wire mesh baskets. Tinker’s favorites had always been stuffed animal types with the little squeaky inside. Just like a little kid, he’d look over the toys and it really seemed like he was making a well thought out choice about which one he wanted most. He’d go back and forth on the isle without touching or sniffing any of them but he was certainly making a decision. Once he settled on the one it appeared he wanted, he would stand right in front of it, place his mouth into the pile, pull it out and place it on the floor at our feet or hold it in his mouth. Now, this image is permanently etched into my brain, he would look up at us, with this “face”, he would look at me like he was very politely asking, “papa, can I have this?”. I remember that face so vividly. What a little gentleman! We asked him, “is that the one you want bubba? He would then show us it was his choice by trying to make a beeline to the front exit. No, no, no,….we’re here to give you a bath!

Now instantly, he’d go from a little gentleman to a stubborn CHOW. Four paw disc brakes engaged as we drug his sliding paws and rump placed firmly on the slippery floor (to obtain more traction) towards the back of the store where he knew the horrible bath place was. When he really didn’t want to be led somewhere, he had mastered this Tae Kwon Do, karate type maneuver. He must have seen it on Big Time Wrestling TV or something, I think he watched too much TV, but that’s another chapter. As I tried to lead him with his leash, he could contort his head and neck in a way that would immediately remove his whole collar. He’d make a break in the opposite direction for the front door, new squeaky toy still in his mouth as I was left in his wake, holding a now very empty dog collar and leash. Quickly, in a well rehearsed, almost military set of actions, Michelle would flank left, I’d flank right, the clerk who always watched this humorous routine would block the front doors. On good days we could recapture him before he got to isle 3. On other days he’d make a left on the cat food isle where we’d lose site of him. Unfortunately for him, he was unaware that his squeaking squeaky toy gave a way his location. Once, back in custody, we’d then have to carry all 68lbs of him to the wash basin. I’d put him in and he would take a huge breath and let out this big “sigh”, like he was conceding his surrender. God, it was funny.

Now, if you ever washed a rough coat chow, you know that right after a bath the base coat of fur tends to get released from the skin for some reason. After we got done washing him and conditioning his coat, we’d fire up the blow dryer. Have you seen those old westerns on TV where all the giant tumble weeds go rolling across the plains? That’s kind of what we turned the whole wash room into. So much hair would come out sometimes, that I thought we could build another dog out of it. Maybe I should have taped all that hair together and put a squeaky into it, thus saving us the $12.95 we spend on the squeaky he’d pick out. I don’t know why he liked them so much. After this whole pick-a-toy, chase a chow, wash the dog, tumble weed episode was done, he’d have the squeaky broken and not squeaking before we ever even got out of the parking lot!

You’ve all seen chows who’s fur obviously needs attention. I always use to judge those owners, thinking to myself, God, they should take better care of their dog! Tinker taught me that maybe those owners just weren’t as good as us at catching their dog at bath time.

Let me end with this. Tinker was blonde (ok, you guys call it cream), whatever. Remember the tumble weeds I was talking about? Shell and I both vacuumed and kept our car and truck really clean. Before I went back to driving a truck, I was a Sales Manager for a large West Coast electronics supplier. Our largest vendor was in Taiwan and one week, two of their most highly placed executives were flying all the way out here, so that I could take them to meetings with the CEO’s of the companies I sold to. I don’t know why, maybe it’s a cultural thing but executives from Asia always seem to only wear very dark blue or black suits to formal meetings. Do you see where this is going? Knowing that I’d be touring them around in my truck (nice 4x4 4 door) I took it to the car wash and gave the vacuum guy an extra 5 bucks to do a good job. THEN, when I got home Shell and I went over it again. We did a great job and all was well when I picked those guys up at the airport. Well, there we are, sitting in our first meeting and both of those guys suits are covered in, you guessed it…….my little buddy. You could tell they were embarrassed of their appearance as they tried to discreetly pick off the hairs. When we got outside by ourselves, in very broken English I get asked…..”where all dis hair come from”. I just played stupid and shrugged my shoulders.

We miss our little tumbled weed maker.